Growing Up

 

I was old enough to know

That pretending was silly

You were a candle flame

Here one second but disappeared instantly when you were snuffed out

Leaving only a puff of smoke

 

Imagining that I was a fairy

Flying freely through a deep green forest

Wouldn’t fix the fact that you were gone

No longer flying beside me

 

I felt so small

So alone

Life had ripped apart my map

And I was lost

 

The emerald woods turned into a desert

No matter what direction I traveled

Everything was empty and dry and exhausting

I couldn’t find my way home

 

To soft blankets and hot cocoa on cold days

To making puzzles on the dining room table

To drawing landscapes with charcoal as my silver cat purred beside me

 

My heart was an old vase

Shattered in pieces on the floor

I couldn’t fit the broken shards back together

No matter how long I desperate tried to put everything into place

 

But I was old enough to know that

Pretending was silly

You were a candle flame

All that was left was the memory of what you used to be